AS FUNNY AS CANCER

Chevron has never appeared to take seriously its potential liability for the 18 billion gallons of contamination intentionally dumped in the Amazon rainforest. The oil company continually dismisses the overwhelming evidence that shows ChevronTexaco is responsible for destroying the health and way of life of the indigenous groups and farmer communities that live there. But, despite the company's failure to account for the severity of its actions, you couldn't imagine they found the situation humorous.

However, during a taped interview with Palast in Quito for the BBC, Chevron's Ecuadorian lawyers – Rodrigo Perez Pallares and Jaimie Varela -- laughed out loud when asked about the abnormally high cancer rates in the area. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBmfWg6wdKA

Perez Pallares, in a dismissive, mocking tone said: "And it's the only case of cancer in the world? How many cases of children with cancer do you have in the States? [laughter] If there is somebody with cancer there, [the Cofan parents] must prove [the deaths were] caused by crude or by petroleum industry. And, second, they have to prove that it is OUR crude – which is absolutely impossible."

For his part, Jaimie Varela waved away concerns about instances of childhood cancer, asking Palast if he has been given any medical reports. When the reporter showed Varela a peer-reviewed study indicating that instances of childhood leukemia were substantially higher in the contaminated region, Varela mocked it.

The tape demonstrates a sickening display of callousness and arrogance that seems to be at the heart of Chevron's legal strategy. It is clear that Chevron would not be so quick to laugh at those dying off from their failure to act as an ethical corporation if the victims were from another part of the world.

Sadly, the lawsuit has exposed not only a history of environmental racism by the oil giant, but has demonstrated Chevron's ongoing belief that human life is of less value amongst the impoverished communities in Ecuador's rainforest.

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Lay Down With Dogs and You Get Fleas

As the saying goes, good help is hard to find – so Chevron has found some bad help, and that help may be causing the company some problems in the days to come. We've already written about the controversial and ill-conceived hiring of William Haynes by Chevron (who was just described in a NY Times article as radioactive- the paper described him as searching for a job for more than a year before Chevron agreed to take him in). The Amazon Defense Coalition named a high-level public relations gun-for-hire, James Craig, who has been hired by Chevron to manipulate, delay, and obstruct the trial in Ecuador, calling Craig a "hit man" working for the corporation. According to the organization's press release:

James Craig, an American public relations official with Chevron affiliated with the J. Walter Thompson advertising agency, for undermining a long-running environmental trial in Ecuador where the oil giant faces a $27 billion liability for dumping toxic waste into the rainforest.

"Chevron is using James Craig as a hit man to sabotage a trial in Ecuador because it expects to lose and be on the hook for billions of dollars," said Luis Yanza, a representative for the dozens of communities and indigenous groups that brought the lawsuit.

"James Craig's behavior is unethical and shows a profound disregard for the law," added Yanza, a recent winner of the Goldman Environmental Award, considered the "Nobel" prize of the environmental movement.

The interesting thing is that Mr. Craig is apparently no stranger to working for reckless and controversial companies – a quick Google search found that Craig's last position as a p.r. mercenary was with the infamous Refco, a financial trading company that collapsed in October 2005 costing investors hundreds of millions of dollars, long before imploding financial institutions was chic. James Craig helmed the public relations ship throughout Refco's collapse, working to hide the truth from investors and leading to the massive losses.

When you add in the Darth Vader-esque hiring of William Haynes, you've got an interesting human resources strategy - apparently Chevron tries to hire the most controversial guys around, hoping that their wealth of knowledge of the seedy underside of the world will help Chevron intervene in the trial.

But is hiring these mercenaries worth it? The Amazon Defense Coalition has indicated that complaints are being filed against Craig for interfering in Ecuador's judicial process. Haynes' "War On Terror" excesses inside of the Department of Defense may have him drawn up before Senator Leahy's burgeoning "Truth Commission" committee, and have him branded as a war criminal at home and abroad (better cancel that European vacation, Mr. Haynes…). And all of this gets imputed onto Chevron, damaging their public image, forcing the company to defend these employees, and making it harder for the company to work moving forward – these rogue operators may be causing more problems than they're solving.

I guess Chevron is probably used to having to deal with the fallout of hiring the radioactive and controversial – after all, as the saying goes, if you lay with dogs, you get fleas.

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WTF is going on? Is Chevron just evil?

News out of San Francisco today: Chevron, which posted a record profit of $23.8 billion in 2008 is suing a group of Nigerian villagers for almost $500,000 in legal costs resulting from a embarrassing legal case (Bowoto v. Chevron) that Chevron narrowly survived this past November. This was the legal case in which a group of unarmed Nigerian villagers were shot and killed during the oil-derrick version of a sit-in protest. The villagers sought to hold Chevron responsible since it paid for, housed, fed, and directed the Nigerian military forces who shot the protestors. While Chevron prevailed during the trial, the entire episode was seen as a public relations disaster as a high-profile human rights trial took place just miles from Chevron's San Ramon, CA headquarters, further tarnishing Chevron's already shoddy image. Take a look at Dan Firger's blog on the Huffington Post - Landmark Human Rights Trial Bowoto v. Chevron Set To Begin October 27 for a short recap.

Well, now Chevron has added insult to injury, seeking $500,000 from the villagers who sued the company. So, people on Chevron's payroll literally shot the villagers, and now Chevron wants the villagers to pay the corporation for daring to take the company to trial over the shootings. Now, I don't have a ton of experience in this area, but I was always of the mindset that if you shoot someone its bad form to ask them to pay for the bullet. I mean damn, is Dick Cheney running Chevron now? Who shoots someone and then tries to make them pay for the fact that you shot them? And even Cheney only made his friend apologize for getting shot...I mean, this just reeks of heartless evil. According to the L.A. Times:

Laura Livoti, founder of Bay Area-based Justice in Nigeria Now, said the $485,000 sought by Chevron, California's largest company, would constitute a fortune for the Nigerians. That sum would be enough to sustain at least four villages in the Niger Delta for a year, she said.

"Chevron's attempt to squeeze nearly half a million dollars out of poor villagers who don't even have access to clean drinking water and who had wanted jobs with the company is a dramatic illustration of Chevron's heartlessness," she said.

In its claim, Chevron is seeking reimbursement from 19 plaintiffs and 30 former plaintiffs who dropped out of the case before it went to trial. At least a dozen of those named are children, Livoti said.

So this is perfect: Chevron is now suing children for enough money to support their entire village (and their neighbors!) for an entire year. Suing children? What, were all the puppies and kittens already claimed by Halliburton? I mean, this is getting almost comic book supervillain-y - with the lawsuits against children after Chevron shot their parents - did Lex Luthor take over this company?

And it's not like Chevron needs the money. Chevron made $23.8 billion profit last year. That means Chevron was making $65.2 million per day, $2.7 million per hour, and $45,251.56 per minute. At that rate it would take Chevron all of 10.72 minutes to make the $485,000 they're suing the villagers for. And these numbers are based on Chevron's profits, not their revenues, even though the $485,000 Chevron is seeking would all be tax-deductible business expenses anyway, meaning it would probably take the company about 5 minutes to generate that revenue. But Chevron isn't one to pass up an opportunity to sue children and the downtrodden, so here we are.

Even if you buy Chevron's argument that they're just trying to dissuade future lawsuits like the Bowoto case, the whole idea of suing Nigerian villagers and children is just horrible. Don't they have a single public relations professional in San Ramon? I have to imagine that a company posting $23.8b profits can afford to hire someone who is savvy enough to say "um guys, maybe we shouldn't shoot unarmed and impoverished villagers. And if we do, let's just sort of pretend it didn't happen, say we're sorry and we didn't mean to and hope the bad p.r. goes away – let's not go sue the people we shot for more money than any of them will ever make in their lifetimes. Ok guys? Because it looks really bad when a company making billions and billions of dollars is suing poor people because they stood up to us. Ok? And, by the way, can someone open a window? It's beginning to smell like sulfur in here again…"

But I guess no one in Chevron cares. Or maybe they just can't see the folly of their actions through all the smoke from the fire and brimstone filling up their big offices.

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